Self-care and wellbeing

The importance of self-care

Alcohol and other drug problems can place families under a lot of stress. The family member with the problem can become the focus of attention, and other family members can let their own health and wellbeing slip as a result.

If you are going through a stressful time it is important that you stay well and healthy. Looking after your own health and wellbeing will in turn help those who rely on you and need your help.

In the following video Tony Trimingham, CEO of Family Drug Support, talks about the importance of self care while looking after a family member with alcohol or other drug dependence.

Learn more

Family Drug Support (FDS) provides telephone support to families in crisis due to drug and alcohol issues. FDS is staffed by volunteers who have firsthand experience of drug dependent family members.

24 hour support line

1300 368 186

More about FDS

Looking after yourself

Making time for the things you like doing including social and physical activities have really positive effects on your mental health, which will help you stay calm and cope when you're feeling stressed.

Self-care tips

A good place to start is to recognise how stress affects you. Stress can affect your body, mind and behaviour in the following ways:

aches and pains
muscle tension
fatigue or exhaustion
high blood pressure
changes in appetite
poor sleep
feeling depressed, anxious or moody
problems with memory and concentration
feeling overwhelmed or useless
avoiding people or situations

Taking time out and shifting attention away from your worries for a while helps the mind and body recover. Schedule some ‘me’ time every day for doing things you enjoy.

Be sure to look after your essential needs like good nutrition, exercise, relaxation, quality sleep and social connection.

The following activities might be helpful during stressful times:

Exercise – regular exercise not only helps the body but the mind, by releasing mood-boosting endorphins, increasing your energy and focusing on the activity
Relaxation – progressive muscle relaxation and breathing exercises can be useful and found online, or via classes like yoga or meditation
Socialising – spending time with friends or family you trust and feel comfortable with can help you feel good
Eating healthy – eating a healthy and balanced diet can improve your energy and mood
Quality sleep - getting enough sleep can help you recharge. Most adults need about between 6 and 8 hours per night
Talk things through – talking to someone you trust about your experiences can alleviate stress. This could be a family member or a friend, or a professional counsellor from the Alcohol and Drug Information Service (ADIS) on 1800 250 015 or Family Drug Support (FDS) on 1300 368 186, both services are available 24 hours per day, 7 days a week. FDS also offer support groups where you can talk with people who have gone through similar situations.

Make time for the things you enjoy, whether that includes being active or quiet. Below are some practical suggestions for ways to unwind:

Being active

take a walk
experience nature (park, the beach or in the bush)
go for a swim
ride a bike
play a sport
potter in the garden
join a social group
see a movie

Quiet time

read a book
create something (craft, painting or drawing)
cook something special
sew or knit
listen to music or make your own
journal or write a story
take a bath
have a massage

Risk or threat of violence

If you are in danger or someone else is at risk of harm, call Triple Zero (000) immediately.
If you are not in immediate danger but worried about what to do if a situation becomes unsafe, having a plan for what to do in an emergency is vital. A safety plan can help you look after yourself and your family. The best way to prepare a safety plan is with the help of a support service like 1800RESPECT, you can contact them on 1800 737 732.
1800RESPECT is the national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service. They support people experiencing, or at the risk of experiencing, violence and abuse and are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

1800RESPECT can help you with a safety plan to look after yourself and your family. Your safety plan could include practical actions like:

Having emergency contact numbers on or close to you - Triple zero (000) for Police, Fire or Ambulance.
Knowing which friend, family member or neighbour can provide support and have their contact number on you
Knowing a safe place where you can go in an emergency (e.g. friend, relative, motel, refuge), and how to get there
Being prepared to access money in an emergency – have your bank details, card and / or cash on or within easy reach
Storing valuables and important documents (or copies) in case you need to take them quickly (e.g. birth, marriage and divorce certificates, passport, rental agreement or mortgage documentation, car registration, debit and credit cards, driver’s license etc)
Creating a distress code word or phrase and share it with friends / relatives so they know to call the police in an emergency

In addition to 1800RESPECT, you can call NSW Domestic Violence Line 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on 1800 65 64 63. The service is NSW-based, free and confidential, they provide telephone-based crisis counselling and referrals.

Support for young people

Dealing with a family member who has an alcohol or other drug problem can be very difficult for everyone, including children and young people. If you have a parent of carer who is having trouble it is importnat to know there are free and confidential support services just for young people.

How family problems can affect you

If you are the child of a parent or carer who is experiencing alcohol and other drug problems, you are not alone.

When there are alcohol or other drug problems in your family, home life can be hard and it might feel like nobody is looking out for you. You might notice that your family seems to struggle with things like getting along, having enough money to cover important things or maybe your family has difficulty with sticking to a routine you can count on. You might also notice changes in your parent or carer’s moods, for example they may be quiet and withdrawn sometimes, worried, sad or angry at other times.

If you are in danger
If your parent or carer is aggressive, breaks things, becomes violent or if you ever feel in danger (or someone else is in danger), call Triple Zero (000) immediately.

When you have a parent or carer who is experiencing alcohol and other drug problems, it is common to have strong feelings because of what is going on at home. Feeling down or depressed, anxious, having trouble concentrating, sleeping, eating or generally feeling like you can’t cope with stress is common. Always remember, you are not responsible for what is going on. Even when someone has problems with alcohol or other drugs and they are going through a rough time, they are still responsible for their own feelings, actions and behaviour.

Asking for help

Sometimes it might feel like you have to step up and be the responsible one, and you might also be caring for younger siblings. Looking out for your family is important, but so is being looked after yourself.

Feeling alone and stressed can make it hard to decide what to do, so it is important to ask for help.

If you feel comfortable talking to another family member or an adult friend (this should be someone you feel you can trust) then consider asking them for help. Also, there are free counselling services you can contact via calling or online that can support you. Services like the ones listed below can help you with talking through your problems and making a plan for what to do. They are professionals who understand what you are going through, they are there to listen, provide you with advice and can refer you to other services if you need. You don’t even have to tell them your name if you don’t want to, they are there to help you look after yourself.

Kids Helpline
A free and confidential 24 hours, 7 days a week telephone and online counselling service for kids and young people aged up to 25 years. Its confidential and you can chat with a counsellor online via kidshelpline.com.au or call 1800 55 1800.

Alcohol Drug Information Service (ADIS)
A free and confidential 24 hours, 7 days a week telephone counselling service. ADIS provide support, information, counselling and referral to alcohol and other drug services in NSW. Call 1800 250 015

anytime or start a Web Chat (Monday to Friday 8.30am – 5pm including public holidays).

Family Drug Support (FDS)
A 24 hours, 7 days a week information, help and referral service especially for families. FDS also hold self-help groups for family members of people who use drugs across NSW. Call 1300 368 186

or visit fds.org.au for more details.

Headspace
A service dedicated to young people aged between 12-25 who need information relating to general mental health, physical health, work and study and alcohol and other drugs. Headspace provides in person support via their headspace centres, support online via eheadspace and telephone support on 1800 650 890. For further details visit headspace.org.au.

Counselling Online
A free, confidential, online text-based counselling service for people concerned about a family member, relative or friend, or about their own drinking or drug use. Trained counsellors are available 24 hours, 7 days a week. Go to counsellingonline.org.au to start a session.

ReachOut
An online mental health organisation for young people and their parents. The site includes articles and online discussions on topics like how to deal with tough times, relationships, identity and gender, bullying and other issues. Visit au.reachout.com for further details.

Children of Parents with a Mental Illness (COPMI)
COPMI provide information online for young people whose parents may have a mental illness. On the site you can access advice from other young people, information on the different types of mental illness and where to get support. Visit copmi.net.au for further details.

Al-Anon family groups – Alateen
Alateen is an association of young members, usually teenagers, whose lives have been affected by someone else's alcohol drinking. Alateen groups meet all over Australia, coming together to talk about their experiences, ways to cope with problems and support one another. Learn more about Alateen, including where to find your local meeting at al-anon.org.au/alateen.

Additional support

See full support list

The Alcohol & Drug Information Service (ADIS) is a free and confidential counselling helpline for NSW residents with concerns around alcohol and/or drug misuse and is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. ADIS is staffed by professional counsellors who provide education, information, counselling, support and referrals to other appropriate services in NSW.
Are you worried you could be drinking too much or consuming drugs in a way that has become a problem? Are you worried about your friends or family finding out and want to get help quickly and quietly? Are you worried about the drug use of someone close to you – maybe a family member or friend? Maybe you just want to know where someone can get help?
ADIS clinicians understand the difficulties of speaking out, seeking help and finding appropriate drug and alcohol treatment, and use their knowledge and experience to assist you and answer questions, such as:
- How can I cut-down or stop my alcohol or drug use?
- What help can I get?
- Do I have to wait long to get help?
- Can anyone ring ADIS?
- Who do I talk to when I ring ADIS?
- Will drug and alcohol treatments be difficult?
- What is this drug doing to me?
- What are the short and long term problems that could develop if I continue using?
- Will ADIS tell anyone that I rang?
- What can I expect when I ring?
- Does ADIS record calls?
You can call ADIS 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on 1800 250 015 or for Sydney Metropolitan 02 8382 1000 or alternatively you can start a Web Chat.
ADIS Web Chat is available from Monday to Friday 8.30am – 5pm (including public holidays).
ADIS also has a range of telephone lines offering specialised drug and alcohol information and support to particular groups.
24 hour support line
1800 250 015
More about Alcohol and Drug Information Service (ADIS) NSW
Family Drug Support (FDS) provides support and assistance to families throughout Australia who are experiencing difficulty with a family member using alcohol or other drugs.
FDS is a non-religious, non-judgemental and caring organisation of volunteers who have first-hand experience living with family members experiencing alcohol or drug dependency.
FDS supports families by providing information about alcohol and other drugs, dependence and treatment options, while also helping families to overcome stigma and reduce self-blame, provide mutual support and help families build skills to strengthen their relationships.
FDS provide a 24 hour, 7 days a week support line for families, support groups and meetings, the 'Stepping Stones' and 'Stepping Forward' courses, events and resources.
Find out how FDS can help you.
24 hour support line
1300 368 186
More about Family Drug Support (FDS)
Your Service Hub is an online directory of alcohol and other drugs support, health and welfare services. If you need support for your own or someone else's substance use, you should use terms in Find Services like:
- drug and alcohol family support
- drug and alcohol Aboriginal services
- drug counselling
- drug and alcohol rehabilitation
- drug and alcohol residential treatment
Use your suburb name to narrow the search to services near you.
Not sure what service you need? Call the Alcohol and Drug Information Service on 1800 250 015.
#;Your Service Hub
More about Your Service Hub
Families, friends and loved ones can play a critical role in the recovery of people who experience alcohol and other drug problems, however they are often focused on the needs of others while they neglect their own their own health and wellbeing.
The Family and Friend Support Program (FFSP) is an online cognitive behavioural therapy program to support people who are caring for or supporting someone with alcohol and other drug use issues.
FFSP is based on a series of modules and includes information and activities on how families and friends can help their loved ones, with a specific emphasis on the person providing the support and their often unmet needs. The program is also suitable for health professionals.
For information on how to start a conversation with your loved one about their alcohol and or other drug use, tips on how to look after yourself and other resources visit our For Families mini-site.
Cost
The program is free and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Please note that for Health Professionals there are costs involved in the 5-step training. Details about the training can be found on the Health Professionals portal in FFSP (under the icon 5-step).
The FFSP is supported by funding from the Australian Government Department of Health.

#;Family and Friend Support Program
More about Family and Friend Support Program
FASD or Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder is a term to describe a group of conditions caused by drinking alcohol during pregnancy.
A baby born with FASD can have life-long problems with learning, growth, behaviour, memory, language, communication and everyday living. A baby born with FASD may also have birth defects and facial abnormalities.

It is important to have information if you are pregnant or planning to become pregnant. Avoiding alcohol and drugs throughout your pregnancy can help your baby grow strong and healthy. You can find fact sheets, videos, podcasts and other resources about FASD on the pages below.

More about Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD)